you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
