Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
sex in a hospital.. check
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
