i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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