You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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