Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
