stop calling my apartment porn island.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize