He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
