I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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