There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
