i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
