My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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