i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
