She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
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What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
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Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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