What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
