..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
