Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize