Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
