I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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