I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
These tits shall not be calmed
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
