two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
