yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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