He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
