whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
