The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize