since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
