just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
