I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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