In America we eat man semen.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize