I am full of burrito and curiosity
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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