So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
