Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
false alarm, still single
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