So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
