I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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