He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
