no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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