Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm passing your future prison.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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