Barsexuality is the new black.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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