making cat noises will not fix the situation.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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