She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
