god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
