My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
