It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
