i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
