I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
there is another microwave in the elevator.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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