I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
