your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
