Me too!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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