Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
