I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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