I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You dont lie about slip and slides
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
