Say something about gay babies.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
