Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
