I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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