Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
