maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
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i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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