girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
