weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
