I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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