sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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