Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
