I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
