Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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