Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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