It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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