remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
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You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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