So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
