shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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