This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
