am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Text me some of your sweat
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
