Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
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He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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