Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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