Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
