my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
