But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
