I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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