i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
