that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize