shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
