He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm having to shit out rocks
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