Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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